After this retreat I didn't experience Esoteric Yoga again until 2011 and again it exposed how little awareness and conscious presence I actually had. It also revealed how exhausted I was, for at times I would drift off into a half sleep. At some point in the subsequent yearly Universal Medicine retreats, Sitting Yoga was introduced and again I was blown away by how powerful this was. It was here that I really had a taste of what "stillness" meant, that there was a place inside of me that was unaffected by the world and that could hold steady no matter what was occurring outside of it. My awareness of all around me was acute and at no time did I check out or nod off. This feeling was simply exquisite and super delicate, like a butterfly unfurling itself from within. In Sitting Yoga there was even less movement than when experienced from a mat on the floor and again there was the consistent referral to "being with me" and to remain ever present with the energetic quality I was in. The focus was to bring more of my inherent gentleness, tenderness and delicateness to every slightest movement. This emphasis alone was revelatory, as I wasn't used to moving in this way at all. My movements until then had been somewhat harried and nervous tension was a constant companion.
The other major departure from other types of yoga was Esoteric Yoga's consideration of support, warmth and comfort...to be at all times nurturing of myself as I moved, lay and sat. I was encouraged to use cushions to support if needed, to even sit up against a wall if need be and to not move in a way that was in disregard to my whole body. Taking the time to adjust clothing and blankets was key, to make sure I attended to the details so that I was free to focus on being with me without distraction.
to actually take responsibility for it and be my own authority.
How rare in life this had been for me.”
My love and commitment to the modality of Esoteric Yoga, The Yoga of Stillness, is continuing to expand as I discover the truth that to be in yoga is something to be lived on a moment to moment basis. Esoteric Yoga is not left at the session, for I have connected to my innermost being and it is "with me" in all I do, say and feel. The more I live this self-connecting way of life, the deeper the appreciation I have for all it offers.
Author: Peta Lehane
Photographer: Dean Whitling