My introduction to Esoteric Yoga began in 2010 at the age of 40, when I attended for the first time a Universal Medicine Retreat at Lennox Head, NSW. Having practiced yoga in different forms sporadically over the previous 22 years, I thought I knew what to expect but what I experienced in no way compares. There were no awkward postures or uncomfortable sitting positions, there was no chanting and no intricate breathing techniques. At no time did an instructor stand over me to correct my posture because the movements were so simple and so ordinary and I actually soon realised that it wasn't about postures at all.
Esoteric Yoga is all about connection – to you. The key phrase that really stuck out (because I had never heard it before) was "to be with you". This felt like a foreign concept, a completely different angle to take and it took a while to grasp that the focus of this yoga was simply that....being with yourself, consciously. The practitioner would simply guide us through from laying down to sitting up with bending one leg at a time being the only movement before laying down again. There was a consistency of bringing our awareness to ourselves and the quality of movement and energy we were using. Gentle reminders to be aware of distracting thoughts and to "return to you" made me realise how little time I actually spent being "with me" and my body. Needless to say, this first session awakened in me a long lost connection I hadn't even realised had gone missing. The subsequent morning and afternoon sessions deepened my appreciation for actually experiencing (at long last!) the true meaning of yoga which is union; union with myself first and foremost.
After this retreat I didn't experience Esoteric Yoga again until 2011 and again it exposed how little awareness and conscious presence I actually had. It also revealed how exhausted I was, for at times I would drift off into a half sleep. At some point in the subsequent yearly Universal Medicine retreats, Sitting Yoga was introduced and again I was blown away by how powerful this was. It was here that I really had a taste of what "stillness" meant, that there was a place inside of me that was unaffected by the world and that could hold steady no matter what was occurring outside of it. My awareness of all around me was acute and at no time did I check out or nod off. This feeling was simply exquisite and super delicate, like a butterfly unfurling itself from within. In Sitting Yoga there was even less movement than when experienced from a mat on the floor and again there was the consistent referral to "being with me" and to remain ever present with the energetic quality I was in. The focus was to bring more of my inherent gentleness, tenderness and delicateness to every slightest movement. This emphasis alone was revelatory, as I wasn't used to moving in this way at all. My movements until then had been somewhat harried and nervous tension was a constant companion.
The other major departure from other types of yoga was Esoteric Yoga's consideration of support, warmth and comfort...to be at all times nurturing of myself as I moved, lay and sat. I was encouraged to use cushions to support if needed, to even sit up against a wall if need be and to not move in a way that was in disregard to my whole body. Taking the time to adjust clothing and blankets was key, to make sure I attended to the details so that I was free to focus on being with me without distraction.
After this retreat I didn't experience Esoteric Yoga again until 2011 and again it exposed how little awareness and conscious presence I actually had. It also revealed how exhausted I was, for at times I would drift off into a half sleep. At some point in the subsequent yearly Universal Medicine retreats, Sitting Yoga was introduced and again I was blown away by how powerful this was. It was here that I really had a taste of what "stillness" meant, that there was a place inside of me that was unaffected by the world and that could hold steady no matter what was occurring outside of it. My awareness of all around me was acute and at no time did I check out or nod off. This feeling was simply exquisite and super delicate, like a butterfly unfurling itself from within. In Sitting Yoga there was even less movement than when experienced from a mat on the floor and again there was the consistent referral to "being with me" and to remain ever present with the energetic quality I was in. The focus was to bring more of my inherent gentleness, tenderness and delicateness to every slightest movement. This emphasis alone was revelatory, as I wasn't used to moving in this way at all. My movements until then had been somewhat harried and nervous tension was a constant companion.
The other major departure from other types of yoga was Esoteric Yoga's consideration of support, warmth and comfort...to be at all times nurturing of myself as I moved, lay and sat. I was encouraged to use cushions to support if needed, to even sit up against a wall if need be and to not move in a way that was in disregard to my whole body. Taking the time to adjust clothing and blankets was key, to make sure I attended to the details so that I was free to focus on being with me without distraction.
“I felt empowered to actually put my body's needs first,
to actually take responsibility for it and be my own authority.
How rare in life this had been for me.”
to actually take responsibility for it and be my own authority.
How rare in life this had been for me.”
My love and commitment to the modality of Esoteric Yoga, The Yoga of Stillness, is continuing to expand as I discover the truth that to be in yoga is something to be lived on a moment to moment basis. Esoteric Yoga is not left at the session, for I have connected to my innermost being and it is "with me" in all I do, say and feel. The more I live this self-connecting way of life, the deeper the appreciation I have for all it offers.
Author: Peta Lehane
Photographer: Dean Whitling